{"product_id":"one-eye-zero-honks-t-shirt","title":"One Eye. Zero Honks. T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eOne eye. \u003cstrong\u003eZero honks given.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis gloriously unimpressed goose has officially entered his pirate era — complete with a black eye patch, blue polka-dot bandana, and absolutely no patience left for anyone’s nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing vintage-inspired black-and-white artwork with just a pop of blue, the \u003cstrong\u003eOne Eye. Zero Honks.\u003c\/strong\u003e tee is equal parts sassy, ridiculous, and weirdly adorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVintage-inspired goose illustration\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e“ONE EYE. 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Maximum attitude.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🪿🏴‍☠️\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (lightweight 142 g\/m²) for breathability and soft hand-feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Retail fit with crew neckline; side seams and shoulder tape for shape retention\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Small chest emblem and large back illustration: detailed, crisp prints using DTF\/DTG methods\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tear-away label to reduce skin irritation; REACH certified and FLA\/WRAP ethical manufacturing\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Color-specific fabric blends for heathered tones (variations include cotton\/poly blends)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 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